FEW WORDS ABOUT ANGER

Anger is difficult to work with, but like many challenges, the rewards are great. Rage sweeps you away, and before you know what's happened you're already upset, and you don't notice what's been going on until hours later. To start with you may only be able to notice your anger when it begins to subside. This is okay. Any noticing is good. 

So as you practice mindfulness, notice anger, and name it. You can say "Angry Mind!" Look at your body and see where the anger is. It might be your stomach, or shoulders, the muscles in your neck. Breathe relaxation into that part of your body. With anger, you may notice it first in the body as tension -- a headache, or upset stomach -- or you may pick it up more easily in your mind. It doesn't matter. But do both parts of this exercise. Name the anger and breathe into the tense spot. 

 

You may be wondering about the moral ground of anger. Isn't it wrong to be angry? But by noticing you are not ignoring it. In fact you are giving it due honour. Usually people leap so quickly to act on anger, or to judge (What should I do? Am I right to be angry? Whose fault is it? Hers!) that often they forget to notice the simple fact that they are angry. Of course it's not good to lose your temper and shout, and mostly it's very counter-productive. There's war, violence, genocide, murder, child-abuse and bodily harm, all of them arising from anger and fear. Australia has law-courts, prisons, and armed forces. But putting this right can only happen when each person can address personal anger in their own hearts, and acknowledge silently to themselves, "I'm angry." Be very tender with yourself, just as you would be with a small child. 

. For self-protection our anger needs to be in good shape. If you are a quiet person coming off amphetamines (which raise self-confidence and self-assertiveness) you should check the health of your anger. To check the health of anger, start by noticing it. 

If you are angry a lot of the time, and taking it out on other people, this exercise will help. You should also talk to your counsellor about it. If you are not having counselling, then find a wise and sober friend. Name the problem to them, as honestly and openly as you can, including the good bits of the situation. Telling another person is a simple form of naming and acknowledgment. Yoga, dancing and swimming will help the anger in your body. 

As you collect anger, you are giving yourself a chance to allow your anger a place in your life, giving it a value. It starts to take its rightful place, to come forward appropriately. You gain a few seconds before you react. Those few seconds heal every war that was ever fought.