If you can change any area of
your life by a consistent five percent, the effects will be remarkable This 5% rule applies to our personal
ecosystems as well. The smallest of changes does alter course of life.
Bad things happen fast, good things take time. This is the caveat
about how the five percent rule works. Accidents, illnesses, forces
of nature like hurricanes or tornados arrive in a moment, often with no warning.
Personal catastrophes like divorces can fall into the middle of your world like
a tidal wave. How is it possible that we could not see these things
coming? Relationships are fragile eco-systems and just as in the
aftermath of a storm, rebuilding and recuperation is a process which takes the
time and patience that is the daily work of sustaining.
It is easy to get burnt out in this daily work of relating, it is the
hardest work that we are asked to do. People are annoying,
even the very best of them and especially when you live with them and are
charged with their care. This fact can apply to growing families or
aging parents as easily as it does to our primary partner. Keeping
relationships healthy and being willing to heal the ones that are ailing is not
a quick fix solution, it is a resolution to keep the five percent rule in
action. It is being willing to do the one extra act of kindness
each day. It is taking the time to listen even when you have heard
enough. It is finding the energy to be intimate even when you don’t feel
connected. It is the laundry and the dishes and one more trip to the
grocery store.
The five percent rule is a good resolution to take on no matter what
your life situation. Another way of thinking about it is the continuous
improvement plan, where we agree to remain vigilant to our own attitude and
willingness to participate. It acknowledges that we aren’t going to be
perfect or expect perfection, but rather with realistic intentions, we strive
to be just a bit better than yesterday. It respects the time that
it takes for small, seemingly imperceptible changes to be felt and experienced.
Making a resolution to live with a five percent improvement plan is a
heroic act. Not only do you courageously embrace the unpredictable and
certain falling apart that happens in every life, but you simultaneously hold
your heart open to trying to make the small acts of living softer and more
bearable for the people you love. It is a resolution that you
can keep because it commits you to a process rather than an outcome and gives
you the freedom to miss the mark some days.
